Hello and welcome to the shine bright like a diamond podcast. I'm your host, Angela Vasallo and welcome. I'm so glad you are here. I'm a businesswoman, author, entrepreneur, speaker, step mom, and mom. I know that's a lot of hats and I know that you wear them too. I help ambitious women just like you dream big.
Spark ideas, create more clarity and kick those big ideas into action. This podcast was designed for ambitious women who are at the unique junction in their lives. I like to call it the second act. Women who are conquering life's transitions and are becoming the main character in their second act. It's time to rediscover what you want and how to get it.
Upgrade and master your inner game and raise your standards. Hear from amazing women who have overcome, transformed and are reclaiming their desires. It's time to embrace your second act and rediscover your unique brilliance and amplify your belief that you are capable of achieving the epic life that you dare to envision.
It's time to shine bright like a diamond that you are. I look forward to seeing you in my new podcast.
Hello and welcome to the Shine bright like a diamond podcast. I am your host Angela Vassallo. And I just want to say, Thank You so much for tuning in and being here today. I know there are so many podcast out there that you can be listening to, but the fact that you’re here listening to this one, Shine Bright like a Diamond, I am so greatful. And we have a really have great show for you today.
Firstly, I want on talk about something that a big body of work that I did seven years ago. Some may remember it but I actually wrote a book, seven years ago to this month. And I’m rebirthing this book in a way. And there are so many relevant points in this book that I wrote that I want to share with some amazing women out there who are in blended families. So I dont know if some of you remember but I wrote a book The Second Wives' Guide. And this book, like I said we launched seven years ago and it was all about discover the secrets to survive and thrive as a second wife and step parent. And this book was a lot of work. Took a long time to pull together. And it was my first book and it was just an amazing experience. I want to touch on some points that are relavant today and what I am about to do next.
‘Coz part of what I am about to do si step into the next transition and second stage of my life. I have been working on it for the last few months. It’s about to launch very soon. It’s an incredible amount of work and I know it’s going to impact and is going to help a lot of women out there as well. And the reason I want to talk on this book is because, this book is called The Second Wives' Guide, and I have been able to help so many women, not just here in Australia but also around the world as well. Some women have had their lives touched from experiencing the content in this book being able to help them through and navigate through different tricky situations that you go through as a second family. The Second Wives' Guide is about to launch a new business and it’s all bout helping women in their second act in life that I will talk about in a minute.
But first of all, I just want to touch base. As I remember in my book. this book was picked up by a publicist in New York and I was asked to invite and to come to speak on all the different talk shows and morning shows for two weeks in America. It was an unbelievable experience. Of course with the type of personality I am, I was so excited; “Yes, yes! Of course, I want to be there”. I just couldnt believe I was it was picked up and people wanted to hear what I had to say. So I went to America and started talking to all the morning shows.It was a real out of body, out of the comfort zone experience and I really had to sort of put my self into a real positive mindset and I had to do a lot of work to my self to get my self ready to be able to sit on these on these lounges and really bring it and come through with all the content and the information that would help a lot of people out there.
I remember this one show, it was right at the beginning where I was talking to in Austin. It was live, it was called, Good day Austin. I was sitting with the gentleman there. On the counch and we hadn’t started yet and it was about to go live. I remember him saying to me, he said “ do you know that Robert Duvall has just left. We just interviewd him for his new block buster film that he’s promoting.” I said, “Robert Duvall, the actor?” and he said “yes, he just left, you just missed him”. And I remember thinking to my self, “oh my God, what am I doing here. They have serious actors, serious things, we’re about to go live to millions of people in Austin.” I just felt like a nobody, I felt like I was just completely outside of my comfort zone. “I should’t be here, What am I going to say that is going to make any difference. This is ridiculous.” I felt like a fake and a phoney. Impostor syndrome which we all talk about. All I wanted to do was run and I couldn’t.
I looked at my publicist and he was seeing me going down into a rabbit hole, and he was like pull it together Angela, what’s wrong with you. And I remember thinking, “you’ve got 5 seconds”. And in that moment, I remember thinking to my self, “Angela, it’s not about you, it’s about some woman who will hear your story and she’s going to read this book and it’s going to make a difference in her life and possibly keeping her blended family together. In that few seconds I had, completely did a mind shift. I thought “How can I be of service?” This is not about me and that how i can be of service.
That was a life lesson for me in that moment. Because I understood that I could trust my self. I understood the power of being of service. So whenever you are in this situation where you are panicking, you’re so nervous and you don’t know how you’re going to get through it. Think of how can I be of service. Who can I serve. Who can I help. Someone’s going to hear what I have to say that’s going to make a difference in their lives. Once you take it off you, trust me it will make a massive difference in your life. That was just a teaching point I wanted to share with you. But that in that moment completely changed my life.
And I remember he went like this five four three two and we were live. And I had pulled myself out of that, you know, crazy moment of wanting to run. And I turned and I spoke to the gentleman and we did an excellent interview. And that was because I was able to just do that massive mind shift in my head to be able to be of service. So I just was remembering so many things that happened with this book and all these crazy things that we did when we were traveling through America and all the people I met. And one of the things that I've always said is that I find that when I was speaking to so many people and interviewing so many people, everybody just wanted the same thing. They wanted the common thread that ran through everybody was that everyone. Everybody wanted their families to be happy and healthy and safe. It was. It was literally a common thread that ran through everyone. And part of my book was, you know, the quote, I called it The Second Wives Guide, and it was helping women, you know, to not feel second best in their marriages, even though you are the second wife and there's, you know, complicated, you know, transitions that can happen and all these outer influences that have a massive impact on your relationship because there's other children and then there's other, you know, there's there's I call it the village.
I used to say in the book, I talk about the fact that it's a village because there's more. I could see my husband, but behind him was his kids, the ex-wife, her family, his family, their extended family, all his friends. And everyone had an opinion. And about our relationship, it's just the way it is. And so I don't think that anything's really changed when it comes to that. I think family dynamics have definitely changed and in relationships and but there's a lot of incredible points in this book that help a lot of blended families stay together because it can be quite tricky. And it's really about the second wife understanding her place in the family. And I think the reason why I did write that book was because so many women were coming to me for advice. So many of my friends were meeting men that had been married before, and so they were coming to me for advice and I would be like, well, I don't have all the answers. However, I've made some mistakes.
This is what I've learned from this. I could maybe help you dodge a bullet or two. This is my personal experience. And then I went and interviewed many other women who were just like me and I did a lot of case studies, so I thought it would be a lot of stories in there for people to relate to. So they may not necessarily relate to my story, however, they might relate to somebody else's story. So I put a lot of case studies into this book as well. And, you know, being able to, you know, talk about being marrying into a village. Most people, most of these women that were in my situation could absolutely relate to that. And it is about, you know, having high self-esteem and, you know, working on your, you know, your inner self so you can feel like you're, you know, you can deal with a lot of things as well, like having high self esteem. So there's a lot of really amazing points in there looking back.
And it's been, you know, an amazing journey. But I'm rebirthing and re putting my book back out there again. Now for many other second wives and stepparents and blended families to be able to benefit from and hopefully, you know, you get some value out of that and it really helps you, you know, keep your blended family together as well, because I know it's not a very it's not always smooth sailing. But, you know, I will add that you will get through it. You know, so many times you think that it's just too hard run for the hills. But, you know, sometimes I say, compared to what you know, or relationships are difficult, whether it's a first marriage or a second marriage or a third marriage. I know you have a lot more outer of influences in these other, you know, blended families. However, it really comes down to, you know, working through and and figuring these things out. So this book has a lot of incredible tips in there to be able to help, not just, you know, second wives, but also the husbands as well.
And you know, how to navigate the whole step parenting process, too. So I hope that helps a lot of women out there, too. And you can purchase that on my website. And now I want to talk about the Second Wives guide is now helping women in their second act. And so what Im doing is helping women who are in their 40s and 50s and going through this incredible transition in their lives. Which I call a unique junction where we have an opportunity to rewrite the script We have an opportunity to rewrite a whole new chapter in their lives. You will find that there are a lot of women are talking to me about the fact that their children are growing up and craving out of their paths. Most of sort almost left school. Some are driving. Some are out living on their own. Doing their own thing now
So the sacrifice and all the stuff that we've been doing for the kids and the service and the, you know, the, the commitment and obligations that we've had. To commit to for all of these years are coming to an end. And you have now this amazing time in your life where you have more time for you. And I want to help women through this process.
I am starting to create this business around that. Running workshops and helping women carve out where they want to go next. You know, and really ask themselves “What do I want for the rest of my life and how am I get that?” and then work on your mindset. Having this really inner mindset game that you know and so you can achieve those that you want. Because sometimes it goes down to self belief. It comes down to believing that you can achieve. It’s also about rediscovering yourself. figuring out what you really want to do.
It might be that you've always wanted to write a book, for instance. You know, I had no skills in writing a book. Just found out about it, how the structure of how to write a book. And then I worked it all out from there.
I just came up with the topic and then got myself in a room, got myself in the room and put myself around the right people that could help me write the book. So, you know, some people might want to write a book. You may want to, you know, pivot in your career. You may want to even just. Rediscover how to dream again.
You may have some sort of passion or desire that you've put on hold for all these years, and now you want to, you know, now take time out for these things for you. I think it's really important for women in these, these years to be able to figure out what they want to do and how can they get there.
And it's about, I call it being the main character in your second act. See, we've been. We've never necessarily put ourselves in as the main character in our story, because we've had to take care of so many other people. Now it's about you becoming the main character in your second act, because you're in your second act of life and, you know, start, be the starring role in that, you know, and that's one of the main things I want to do and talk about raising your standards.
Because when you raise your standards, everything changes. You become a high value woman. You work out what you actually want to do. You know, you have more self esteem, you trust yourself more, and you can focus more on you as well. So when you think about rewriting the script, it's not necessarily about, should I rewrite the script?
It's, how do I rewrite the script? And that's what my workshops and my business and everything that I'm going to be talking on and events that we're going to be running is how do I rewrite the script? And I'm going to help many women go through this process. You know, it's, it's a, it's an incredible playbook, but it's years and years of experience, to help you be able to figure out exactly what you want to do and guide you through that.
So as the second wife's guide for women in their blended families, I'm now going to be the guide for women in their second act. As well, and I'm so looking forward to it. And I'll share with you as it all evolves over the next month or so. And, you know, I'll be putting out there all the different things that we're going to be doing in events that you can come along to, and you can experience all that as well.
And hopefully I can help you through your second act too. You know, because I know that when you think about what Oprah's always spoke about, when you know better, you do better. So it's about figuring out what you know, and what you want to do. And once you figure that out, you know, the whole, the world is your oyster.
You know, you know that you can start to move yourself in and put yourself in the arena of figuring that out and then making things happen for yourself. And not only that, it's about being around exceptional women that are going through the same thing as you, that can cheer you on. And that will have your back because it gone are the days where you have to do anything on your own.
It's about, you know, coming together as a community and, you know, working things out together. And that's what this whole, you know, second act is all about. So I'm so looking forward to bringing that all, you know, to fruition. It's all, it's all happening very, very soon. So it's. Very exciting. So I hope you liked today's, episode.
The Second Wives Guide is available on my website. I've also got it in audio coming as well soon, but you can download it off the website too, and then audio will be coming too. So it's on my website, AngelaVassallo. com. If you go to the book page, you'll see it there too. And if there's anyone else that you know, that is a second wife or in a blended family that's having some issues at the moment, or you feel that might benefit from the book, please send them the link and, you know, let them know that they can actually download the free chapter, the first chapter is for free as well. And they can have a listen to that too. And, you know, hopefully that will resonate with some women too.
So thank you for being here today. Like I said, I really appreciate you coming onto this podcast, considering there's so many out there and, um, I'll be interviewing. So many more incredible women coming up who are in their second act and who are doing incredible things in the world as well, so that they can share their story too, and how they've overcome and what they're doing now.
So I look forward to seeing you in the next podcast. Bye for now. Thank you. Thank you for tuning in today. I really appreciate it. Like I've always said, there are so many podcasts out there that you can listen to, and the fact that you're here. I am so grateful, so thank you so much. This podcast is all about taking center stage of your life in your second act.
And your second act isn't a time to slow down. It's a call to action. It's your life and it's your rules. Thank you again. I really, really appreciate you. And if you think that anybody would benefit from this, please share and even tag me in at AngelaVasallo and subscribe. I look forward to seeing you in the next episode.
