Angela Vassallo (00:02.21)
Hello and welcome to Harmony in the Hustle. Now it's been a hot minute since I've been here. I have been traveling, I have been on other people's podcasts. We've had holidays, it's been Easter. It's been a bit of a crazy couple of weeks. So I am back and I'm so grateful to be back here today. And I've got a really, really great episode that I wanna share today and a subject I really wanna talk on because...
I just recently went away on a cruise called the Celebrity Edge Cruise Ship. And it was with the Business Blueprint Group and with Dale Beaumont. I've mentioned Dale a few times, he's one of my mentors and he's helped me a great deal in business. And he asked me to speak at this conference. And I was like really, really excited because like when Dale asked me to speak and it's like one of the biggest stages I've been on and...
I was so excited about it, but look, to be honest, I was nervous about it as well. But I really wanted to do him proud. And obviously the business blueprint community, I wanted to make sure that, you know, that I delivered a really great, you know, talk, intelligent, I want to inspire them and educate them. But more importantly, give them like, create an impact, like a transformation. so I spent a lot of time preparing for this talk and
And it went really well. So I just want to share some takeaways about what happened for me on the cruise and how I felt leading into it and the process of everything that I went through. So it was over Easter and it was for three days and my husband came as well. And you know, I don't know if you've ever been on any of celebrity cruise ships. They're amazing. I had been on the Beyond before and also the Apex. We went on them in Europe and they're beautiful. They're amazing ships. They're just
you know, great, they're fabulous. They're just so lovely inside and great restaurants, great service. And so any excuse to get onto cruise ship, I'm there. And when he asked me to speak on this subject, he said, Angela, I want you to speak on how to lead people. I want you to speak on leadership is what he said to me. And I said, okay, great, no worries. And he said, but more specifically, how to lead people that don't want to be led.
Angela Vassallo (02:16.694)
And so I remember thinking to myself, I had a bit of a laugh and I thought, okay, so I'll just tell you my life story then because that's pretty much how it's been for me. know, leading people that don't want to be led by me. I'm not sure if you've ever had that experience. I asked everybody to put their hand up and said, has anybody tried to lead people that don't want to be led? And I said, everybody's hand should be up. said, because have you ever tried to lead a toddler? Have you ever tried to lead a teenager?
Like we think about business and leadership. When we think about leadership, most of the time we think about business. We think about maybe leaders in our history and our past great leaders. We think about entrepreneurship, but we don't always think about the family dynamics. We don't think about relationships and friendships and leading the children. Like there was so, we are leading all day, every day. So I put together a presentation which led right back to my childhood.
when I did athletics and what I learned as being a self leader, like I had a lot of, know, self leadership and self discipline as a teenager in my athletics career. And then I talked about, you know, having a blended family. I spoke about Dylan and Dylan struggles with ADHD. And I spoke about how I was in restaurants in the hospitality industry and how, you know, I had to learn to be a leader that was leading people that weren't necessarily going to be
didn't want to be led by me because I didn't have a lot of experience. So I want to start with this. So my keynote, like I said, was leading people that don't want to be led. And I shared parts of my leadership story and how I was doubted and the pushback that I had and how I overcame the challenges and the obstacles with the odds stacked against me. And then I also introduced
Ted Lasso. Now, many of you probably know Ted Lasso. If you haven't watched it, I really encourage you to watch it because there's a lot of leadership lessons in the Ted Lasso shows. In the series, it's an amazing, it's amazing writing, it's amazing content, it's got incredible stories and characters inside the show. And but there's so many lessons in there. And I spoke about how he was an American football coach that came to the UK.
Angela Vassallo (04:40.76)
to coach a soccer team. And I said he had no experience in this particular arena because it was all football, not soccer. And he had no respect from the team, but he had the belief that he could help these guys and this team. And he somehow had to bring everybody together and get them to work together and create harmony in that team.
And I explained how I saw so many of so much of my journey in his story, especially with starting at Vasco's because when I started building my brand Vasco's chargrilled chicken, I had no hospitality experience. I had no background experience with any of it. I had never actually had staff before. And we went head on straight into these restaurants. And obviously, you know, there was a lot of hurdles to jump. There was like a lot of
you know, people thinking, gosh, and I remember there was this running joke that was happening in Parramatta. How long is it going to take for that girl to burn down the chicken shop? Because nobody kind of believed that I could actually, you know, do it. And I didn't even think I could do it either. But I spoke about how with Ted Lasso, the real leadership lessons were about how he had culture first.
you know, how he got people emotionally involved and he made them believe that they could succeed. Remember that whole believe sign that he had that they all put their hands on, even though it was just like a, you know, a cardboard, a piece of cardboard with believe over it. They all bought into that. And it, you know, I spoke about how you can get people to buy into your business and your brand and your leadership by, you know, bringing culture first and getting them emotionally involved.
I also spoke about leaving your ego out, like being humble as a leader, like try to not have all the answers and try to ask them. Like you remember in Ted Lasser, he would say, what do you think? You remember the assistant coach, he would even say to him, what do you think? And he goes, well, no one's ever asked me before. And that's what he did. He said, well, you've got a lot more experience than me. What do you think? And so that's what I was starting to do in restaurants. It's a really great leadership skill to have, being humble and asking.
Angela Vassallo (06:48.398)
you know, other people in the team, what's their advice? And then he also did the ask more, ask more than you tell. So he would ask more questions about things and you know, be humble enough to grow into the role. Like, you know, you have to know that, you know, what your limitations are. Don't go in there and you know, I think that you know it all. Be humble in knowing what your limitations might be. So I a lot about the,
whole Ted Lasso thing and that went those sort of connections of that whole leadership story of Ted Lasso went really well. And then I opened up about Dylan. So I spoke about Dylan and his ADHD and his ODD, which we found out later in life that he had oppositional defined disorder. So was like, great, yep, let's just throw another label on there. That was that whole thing. He would say it was black, I would say it was white. He just was always arguing with, you know, everything and, you know, he had to
He taught me a lot about leadership and leading him through. I spoke about the story that stories that we went through with Dylan, you know, to get him through his HSC, you know, he's out working now in real estate, he's doing great. But I explained the journey that we had to go on to get him through, you know, and that you have to have the patience, you have to advocate, you know, for any family that has a child with a neurodiverse, you know, issue or whatever, you know, you can completely
you know, it's all becomes about them. It's very difficult at times. And I shared more about that story. And so many people could resonate because so many people either have a child with something, or they know someone that does. you know, so it's something that people can really connect with. So that went really well explaining talking about that story and how I, you know, in the chaos, how I tried to stay calm and
how I tried to deal with that and lead him through, which I had to lead him through right to the very end of that. And that 12 year journey of getting him through the school system for someone who in those school systems, don't really have a child like Dylan can struggle in those sort of environments. So I spoke about that and that resonated with a lot of people too. And I had some very big aha moments for me and the audience. I could see them.
Angela Vassallo (09:11.438)
understanding, you know, when I sharing my story about all the different things that I'd gone through. And so I guess that really surprised me the most. And what people really enjoyed was the messy middle. Like I spoke about how difficult it was and how messy a lot of the things were and nothing was perfect, you know. And that's, that's the thing I really encourage people when they talk about their stories, just be honest, like talk about the real journey. Talk about the things that you overcame. Talk about the
the things that are really, really challenging that you went through. So me sharing that, it gave them permission to sort of see themselves in that story as well. And then it gives them permission to also share their story. And then a lot of people say that to me, I saw myself in that short story. Thank you very much for sharing that and your journey with all of that. And I finished it off by saying, you know, this was the last part of the whole story. I said to them,
It was never about leading people that don't want to be led. It was about you becoming the leader that people want to follow. And I think when we understand that it's not about control, it's not about being a leader that scares people into submission, it's about becoming the type of leader through the process that is worthy
of people following you. And I think that's when a lot of aha moments happen for a lot of people because if you are wanting to be a leader in business, it can be extremely challenging at times. And you think that, you you've got to be seen, you will make mistakes, you will fail, you will fall flat on your face. And you can't hide those things, people can see them, there's nothing you can do about that. And I explained that, you know, there's so many times where I felt like
You know, I was like failing, was floundering. I felt like people were laughing at me. I felt like an idiot a lot of the time playing the fool. But that is part of leadership because if you can push past those things and understand that the obstacles and the challenges are the way like that if you've got the odds stacked against you, like the Stoics say the obstacle is the way you can't just go from zero to success.
Angela Vassallo (11:39.138)
You have to go as an entrepreneur and a business owner on a journey up and down, up and down the challenges and the obstacles, but you learn from those. So, you know, I talked about the fact that's the part that's the transformation part. It's the leader and the person that you become through the journey of your transformation, because that's what people saw at the end of my story. When I explained the beginning and then I went right through to the end, this is who I am today. However,
I could not have become this person if I did not go through everything that I went through. And that's where wear your battle scars and that's where you can share your experiences so other people can understand, you know, that it's okay for them if they're going through it and they can resonate with that and they can understand that it's not going to be easy, nothing is. And people might look at you and go, great, you're so successful, you obviously did it so easy.
And then when you share your story, go, I didn't realize that you had it so hard. I didn't realize it was so difficult because, you know, it's not about perfection. Okay. It's about the process and it's about just turning up every day and just trying to get better and better and better and forgetting about being perfect and forgetting about what people think about you and learning to forgive when people are backstabbing you, especially in business, when you're the boss and the entrepreneur.
understand that everyone's got their own issues. And if you can kind of take on some of Ted Lasso's leadership skills that will really, really help you. really encourage people, if you know what you can do, you can even go to YouTube, put in Ted Lasso leadership, you'll be blown away with how many people like psychologists have analyzed that show, and they will put up scenes and scenarios from the show. And then you'll sit there.
and they'll go through it all and dissect, see what he did there, see how he communicated with him, see how he connected with him, see how he got him emotionally involved. And you go, my gosh, like you can actually see and their lessons, like amazing lessons to learn in human behavior and dynamics and getting people emotionally involved and connected. So really, really great tip to go and have a look at. And I guess the takeaway that I wanna share with you
Angela Vassallo (14:00.672)
also today is that, especially if you're wanting to step into something like speaking on big stages or, you know, starting your own business or a podcast or doing something uncomfortable. You know, I talk about the reinvention, like going from where you are now into something new. And I talk about also the fact that you're not starting from scratch, you're starting from your experience. So you take all your life lessons, all your wisdom, all your skill sets and everything into this next chapter.
So you're never starting from scratch. Understand that you're starting, even though I had no hospitality experience, I had leadership skills, I had self leadership, I had knowledge of different things that I brought to the table that I could share. So if you are scared to take the leap, you know, to take a chance and do that or do something that's risky or makes you very nervous, just know that this was my first big stage I have done as a keynote speaker.
You know, I'm wanting to have a career as a keynote speaker. This is my first big stage. I was nervous, but what I did do and I did well was prepare, prepare, prepare, prepare. I practiced, I did the reps. You know, I focused on that. And there's a real comfort in knowing when you are about to step into something that you've done the work, you know, you've done the inner work, you've done the outer work and you're prepared. And preparation is what is the key.
And it's not hard to do. It's just taking the time to prepare well. So you give your, it's the, know, you can't wing it. You know, I think many, many times in my life, I have gone through life winging it and things have paid off and things haven't, but not now. I don't do that now. And I really encourage people that to, put the work in, to put the effort in on yourself and do the, do the work, you know, do the preparation because it will set you up and it will also make you, it will
It will show you how professional you are and you will stand out amongst everyone else. And the lesson here is to do the hard things, do the scary things because that's where the growth is. That's where everything is. It's in the hard, scary stuff where you're feeling sick and you wanna like, what is going on? And then you're questioning why you even decided to do this. I remember before I even got on stage, I thought, God, Angela, why did you even agree to do this? What are you?
Angela Vassallo (16:25.182)
And then I remember, this is what I want to do. This is part of it all. The nerves, everything is all part of it. It's all good. See, really, you can trick your brain because your brain doesn't know the difference between being nervous and scared and being happy. It's the same feeling. It doesn't understand the difference between both. So I would say that I'm excited. I'm ready for this. I'm excited. I can't wait. The feedback's going to be amazing. I'm going to share incredible.
you know, lessons and people are gonna love it. And I would just talk myself like that. And that's how I was able to get up there and feel confident through the process. But do the scary thing, do the hard things. And then the more that you do that, the more confidence you get. So obviously, when you get your first one down, you can like tweak it and go, okay, I could have done that better. I could have looped that conversation back a little bit better.
I probably could have had some bit more comedy in that maybe I could have resonated or maybe I could have had a bit more eye contact. Now I can go back and critique those things, sure, because I got through the first one. Okay, so I know I did it. I know I can do hard things. I know it was scary, but I did it anyway. I survived. And then you have more confidence. So that is how confidence is built. And once you've got confidence, see the real meaning of confidence is trust. You learn to trust yourself.
So the more scary it gets and the more bigger stages it gets, I'm learning to trust myself because I know that in those moments that I will step up to the plate. So I just encourage you that when you have these opportunities, take them, even when they're scary, just take them, push through and do the scary stuff and feel amazing at the end, okay? And it's not about doing it perfectly, it's about progress, just getting better and better each time because there is no such thing as perfect.
you learn from what you've done and then you can critique it. So always be learning and always be pushing yourself and challenging yourself and learning from that. And you just do it anyway, you know, we all feel it. I want you to get out there and do what you need to do and you know, lead, share your story, be an inspiration and you know, live your life to the fullest. Bring the, you know, your best personality.
Angela Vassallo (18:44.63)
You're everything that's inside you that's sitting there that you know that is you're hearing that voice of that person that's sitting there who wants to do something. And you're holding yourself back or you're waiting because of something and usually it's because you're worried about other people's opinions, or you're worried about failing, or something like that. That's usually the things that hold people back other people's opinions and worrying about what people think about you. Just let it go. Don't worry about it. And
People will judge and criticize, let them go. And that's that whole let them theory by Mel Robbins, let them. It doesn't feel great, I know, don't worry about it, don't take it in, focus on your own journey. It's the best advice I could give anyone. Not always easy, but it gets easier the more that you do it. But please don't be worrying about, you know, stopping yourself from listening to your inner voice and achieving something that you really know that you were put here to achieve that you really wanna do.
because you're worried about what other people think, or you're worried about failing, because the thing is, you are going to fail. So just know that. But failure doesn't mean death, failure means feedback. What did I learn from that? What did I learn from that? What did I learn from that? It's never really failure, it's only feedback. Okay, you learn from the mistakes. So I hope that's helped you today, and I really wanted to share that because it was an amazing experience on the cruise ship.
and doing this first keynote with this whole group and I got a lot out of it I'm really looking forward to doing more. And yeah, and I hope that story is an inspiration to you to go out there and do something scary and hard. And if it's speaking on stage, I hope I inspired you to do that as well. So I hope you all have an awesome day and I'll see you next time in the next episode on Harmony in the Hustle. Bye for now.
